"I Know I'm Who I Am Today Because I Knew You"

Even though I have been struggling with a migraine ever since I first woke up this morning at 0300, I had this feeling that I just had to write all my thoughts down this morning. Hopefully the Excedrin and the coffee start cooperating for me.

On Wednesday night, my good friend Nicole and her husband got their assignment: C-130s to Little Rock! I'm so happy for them! But that also sent me a reality check: in one short month, I will be losing my other two good friends, Erin and Jaime, to C-130s also, and Nicole will probably leave in about 4 months. I have no idea what I'm going to do. It sucked when my college friend, Cari, left in Septmeber.

The hardest part about being a military wife (at least in my experience thus far), isn't necessarily moving to horribly small bases in the middle of nowhere in the hot Southern weather, but the fact that you lose friends just as quickly as you make them. Never underestimate the importance of good friends. Friends are the family that you get lucky enough to choose (although please note that I love all my family and won't replace them for anything, especially my sister and my cousins :), and they can make any place feel almost like home. I hated living here until I made friends. Ok, well I still hate living here, but it has become more bearable with friends. Our good friend Bryan from Portland and Cari from Idaho will never know how much of a live safer they were when we moved out here right before Matt left for Colorado for 3 weeks. Good friends make everything worthwhile.

With good friends, even the toughest situations can be made just a little easier. Even though I have gone through my fair share of horrible experiences, I can't say that I have ever had "the worst year of my life." As many of you know, in December of '98, when I was 11 years old, my seven year old brother Evan passed away from a nearly 5 year battle with acute lymphoblastic leukemia. That absolutely sucked, especially since it was 4 days before Christmas. As horrible as it was, we still celebrated Christmas- and while the numbness and pain was still there, surrounded by family, it was a little better than it could have been. I still remember having fun with my cousins that day. Even four months later, my parents, my sister and I traveled to Rhode Island during Spring Break just to get away. (Apparently it was funded by both sets of grandparents, they felt we needed a break and vacation). We stayed with my mom's second cousin there. I remember, even though the pain of my brother was still strong, that we had a fun time sightseeing . So even through the most horrible experience of my life, I still managed to smile and have fun after that. Because good friends and family can make any situation just a little bit better.

I'm so glad I had that experience when I was young. Of course I wish it had never happened, but I'm glad it happened then, and not know. Children are so resilient, my sister and I are living proof of that. We are well adjusted 20 somethings with college degrees, no major issues, and a husband a piece to boot :) It taught me how to adapt to horrible situations and be an optimist. Sometimes I take that a little far, I do admit, but mostly it's a good thing. Situations could always be worse. Take my current situation. I'm stuck down here in this horrid Southern heat and humidity. But I have so many things to be thankful for. I have a house, not an apartment. Sure, it's falling apart, but I have a lot of space and I get to leave it sooner rather than later (thank God for that!). My husband comes home every night. Sure, the time changes, and usually he has studying to do, or he had a bad flight so he's cranky, but he still comes home. I have a dog and a cat who are never short on cuddles. I have wonderful friends, among them Bryan, Nicole, Erin, Jaime, Jill, and Jessica. They  bake cupcakes with me, get coffee with me, have my dog's best friends, pick me up from places when the car breaks down, and generally just talk and hang out with me.

See? Life has it's definite downs, but it's friends and family that provide the ups. So cherish your friends and family, and never underestimate the awesomeness of having wonderful people surrounding you. I still don't know what I'll do when everyone leaves, but I know the other friends that I have that aren't leaving will still be there for support.

So thank you, friends and family, for all the love and comfort you have provided for me! I truly appreciate everything.