An Ode to Bacon

So fellow bloggers, even with the addition of a puppy to my household, there isn't much here in the lovely retirement town of Columbus, Mississippi to keep me entertained. In fact, there's not anything, except the two coffee shops; getting texts from Rayla and Brittany; seeing Cari, Ryan, and Bryan; my two boys; getting letters from Rachel; reading people's blog updates (y'all need to do more of that, please); and eating. Also, receiving my Food Network Magazine in the mail. As you can see, none of these are location specific to Columbus. Anyway, I'm digressing. If you were unaware, FNM comes with a little booklet, titled either "50 Things to Make with...." or "50 Ways to Make..." I love these little booklets, and if you haven't guessed already, this month's booklet is "50 Things to Make with Bacon." Oh, let the heavens open up and the angels sing! BACON! My favorite character from the show, Parks and Recreation, Ron, would literally be crying tears of joy! And I am, too (not too loudly, though, since Jack is sleeping and I want him to stay that way). I think bacon is one of God's greatest gifts to humanity. So since I'm super bored and Matt has the car, I thought I would share some of the "ideas" from this booklet and tell you what I think.

"Bacon guacamole" This goes without saying. Um, hello, guacamole is already amazing, it can only be made more amazing by the addition of animal product. Word.

"Cheesy Bacon Popcorn" It's popcorn drizzled with bacon drippings and tossed with crumbled bacon, parmesan, and cheddar. Dude. This will cause a heart attack. But if I ever get a heart attack, I want it to be caused by this. My mouth is watering already.

"Bacon-Apple Sandwich" Baguette with honey mustard, bacon, brie cheese, apple, lettuce, salt and pepper. Not sure how I feel about this. I'm intrigued, but at the same time, why would you mess with the classic BLT, the best sandwich ever?

"PB&B" Peanut butter, banana, and bacon on white bread. Why? That's all I can say. WHY?

"Bacon Quiche" Isn't this a given? Quiche should always be made with bacon. Because bacon is delicious.

"BLT Pasta" Basically, you make a bacon-flavored vinaigrette, pour over pasta, and mix in grape tomatoes, arugala, bacon, basil, and parmesan. I have had a version of this. It's delicious. Hello, a BLT in pasta form. Can't go wrong with that!

"Bacon-wrapped Steak" Beef tenderloin rubbed with garlic, rosemary, salt, pepper, and wrapped with bacon. This just HAS to be good. I mean, steak. And bacon. But this does bring up a question. Can anyone afford to inhale this much saturated fat in one meal?

"Bacon Banana Bread" You would have to do some serious begging for me to want to make this. I prefer chocolate in my banana bread. But nice alliteration, though.

"Bacon Oatmeal" Bacon, maple syrup, and oatmeal in a bowl. I tried this this morning. Best oatmeal I have ever had!

Pictures of Bacon

Bacon. I heart it so much.

Ron Swanson eating his bacon-wrapped turkey leg. It's called the Swanson. This is the only time in the entire show that he smiles, in exception to when he's eating steak. I would have that exact same face.